Nicci Morris

Posts Tagged ‘Balance’

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Do you G.L.O.W.?

In Lifestyle, Love/Relationships, Spirituality on January 10, 2012 at 12:58 pm

Compliments are nice.

It feels good to hear words of approval from other people. Perhaps someone loves your shoes, the way your hair looks or the way you led a project at work. Many of us want to be acknowledged when we do something well.

The compliment I have been receiving as of late is, “You have a glow about you…” I love that. Not because they are stroking my ego. What I feel when I hear someone say that has nothing to do with vanity. In fact, it has nothing to do with my external appearance at all. I have found the key to that glow is a simple approach to life:

Give love, omit worry.

When you learn to “give love” and “omit worry,” your perspective on everything changes. You no longer obsess about minutiae or try to change other people or circumstances over which you have no control. Let’s break it down into two parts.

Give Love

When it comes to people and situations that agree with us and our opinions, this is pleasurable and, as a result, easy to do. But what of the people and situations that challenge your spirit? Analyze how you give love during those times. I have had to make a conscious effort to do this when dealing with two people in particular. I have known one of the people for years and once considered the two of us to be extremely close. I have only known the other person for a matter of days. This reveals challenges in life know no boundaries because it is all the same. It is all energy. Rather than allowing hurt inflicted by others to infect me and shape how I move about the world, I consider that they, too, have been hurt at some point in their lives. I consider that the situations in which I felt hurt were not truly about me. It was about them. I have come to terms with things and decided that I will not give either of those people more of my precious energy. Returning their negativity would be futile and it would only drain me and leave me with less energy for my purpose and my path. Instead I give them love them from a distance and move on with my life.

Omit Worry
The most we can achieve is control over ourselves. Our speech. Our thought. Our actions and reactions. Why concern ourselves with anything else? Does this mean that you don’t have to deal with the typical issues of life? It could mean that for you. Many people give up earthly pleasures, careers, money and the like in the quest for truth, choosing spiritual over material. That could be your path.
I had a conversation about this with a wonderful man I know – a man more brother than friend. “But what about bills?” he asked me. Great question. It is also, I believe, an easy way to stifle your spiritual evolution. The unwilling mind says, “I don’t have time… I don’t have energy… I don’t have…” I don’t believe you must forfeit everything to seek truth. You must simply understand bills aren’t everything. Your career, your spouse, your children, your responsibilities, your likes, dislikes, and more are not nor should they be everything. That is the point. When you understand this – not with your head but with your spirit – worry is alleviated.
Like anything else in life, there will be an ebb and flow of your G.L.O.W. There will be times in your life when it dims and there will be times when it burns beyond bright. Give love, omit worry and allow it to come out of you. Just beware of a side effect: Doing so will encourage others to shine, too. Be ready for the light to fill your life!
Love,

Image: dan / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

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Awaken Your Senses and Change Your Life

In Beauty, Fashion/Style, Lifestyle, Spirituality on January 3, 2012 at 5:42 pm

Do you rely on your senses when you interact with other people? If you are fortunate enough to have one, a few or all five of your senses, do you make good use them?

I encourage you to hone your senses, exercising them to strengthen them to help guide you through your journey through life. Today we will delve a bit into how we can do that. Tomorrow we will analyze what we can manifest when we approach life in this way.

Sight - Pay careful attention to what you watch. Take an inventory of your spirit and how it is affected by images you encounter while moving around the world, watching movies, television or even the words you read. Most of us don’t have the ability to shut out all negative images, but you can limit them. You can also combat them with positive images. Take a walk outside and observe nature. Notice the beauty of the world around you. Complete a project that lends beauty and positivity to your home. This is a picture of a photo frame collage project I did a little over a week ago. I purchased the frames at Ikea ($1.99 ea), ordered the 5×7 prints in black-and-white from Walgreens.com ($1.79 ea) and picked them up in the store within a hour or so. I also bought the pots from Ikea ($5.99) and filled them with moss and greenery from Michaels ($6). For less than $50, I created something that makes me smile many times a day, especially when I see the pictures of my precious nephews. Fill your space with things that make you smile from the inside out, too.

Hearing - I often discuss the power of words. Thoughts are things, only in the very early stages. Think of them as the blueprint for your life. The words you think and speak might as well be bricks and mortar. The life you build will be a direct reflection of the plans you draw in your mind and the words you conjure and put out into the world through thought and speech. Choose your thoughts and words with care. If you find yourself in the company of people who speak negative things into their life and into yours, cut off those relationships. It might not be easy, but it is imperative to your spiritual well-being.

Taste - Have you ever done a detox and limited meat, sugar, and processed foods? If you have, you can attest to the fact that your cravings and taste buds truly can change in just a matter of days. Within days of eating a clean diet, you will notice something might be too sweet or you can taste the chemicals in a processed food product. This is your body’s way of directing you to eat what you need. If you have never been one to eat fresh fruits and vegetables, be patient with yourself as you become acclimated to different foods. Juicing and smoothies is a great way to incorporate the benefits of healthful food into your diet. I will share recipes for some of my favorites in the weeks to come.

Touch - Human beings need touch. We crave it. From the time that we are conceived, our neurons are designed to know pain from pleasure. Without touch, newborns face more health challenges and delays. That need never fades. Be open to giving and receiving hugs when you see family and friends. Use those moments of intimacy to reconnect with them and with yourself. Another great option is to schedule regular massages. You can also find providers who specialize in healing touch. You can find a certified practitioner online. Here is one search option to find one near you.

Smell - Aromatherapy has been used for thousands of years. Ancient Egyptians burned incense and wore fragrant oils. All of these years later, I do those things, too. There is something soothing about the swirl of sweet scents. Scented oils can calm or exhilarate depending on which you choose. They also provide  a layer of protection to your skin against cold and sun. I recommend adding essential oils to shea butter and using that to seal in the moisture of your hair, skin and nails in the winter. If you have fine hair, you can still use this on your locks. Simply do so sparingly, using a small amount every few days as needed. For thick, kinky-curly-coily manes such as mine, use as much and as often as necessary to prevent dryness and breakage. I use shea butter daily.
When you fine tune your senses, you will notice a change in how you perceive the world as well as a change in how you are perceived. Rather than just subsisting and going through the motions, wake up your senses and experience your life to the fullest.

Love,

 

 

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Thoughts Are Things: Do You Think Good Ones?

In Lifestyle, Love/Relationships, Spirituality on January 2, 2012 at 4:52 pm

When you consider where you are in your life, what words come to mind? Take an inventory of those words. Do you see a pattern? Are they negative? Are they positive? Do they tear down or build up your self-worth?

How you talk about yourself in your mind and the words you use to describe yourself to others correlates with everything that you experience in your life. Thoughts truly are things and regardless of whether you choose to fill your life with words that uplift or defeat, the outcome will be exactly what you create.

Here are some ways to turn up the positive thoughts and to shut down the negative one:

Put a Pen to Pad – You have probably heard this advice many times. Keeping a journal is a great release for many. It also requires consistency and discipline, two things required to make any lasting spiritual or physical changes in your life. Don’t think that you have to buy a special book to jot down your thoughts if you’re not ready for that. You can also create a Google document or a Word document and express yourself there. Another option for people who have the spiritual gift of writing is to create your own blog. Yes, there are tons of them, but so what? There are also lots of people but no two are exactly alike. Blogging is cathartic and can help other people at the same time.

Pass Notes – Grab your sticky note pad and a black marker (a medium point works best) and write down EVERYTHING you want out of life. Put one expectation on each sticky note. Put the notes on your bathroom mirror. Read each one each time you are at the sink to brush your teeth or wash your hands or your face. For an even more powerful experience, read them aloud. I do this and  meditate on them while I get dressed in the morning and while I get ready for bed at night. I promise the transformation you experience as a result of this exercise will amaze you, even before you think you are ready for the changes. See that picture up there? I did this spiritual exercise toward the end of fall 2011 when I was going through a major life change. It allowed me to re-focus and take the necessary (but painful) steps to get to the next level in my journey.

Reach out – When was the last time you took a moment to write a letter to someone? Not a text, no e-mail, no pre-written card on which you’ve scratched your name. A true, handwritten note. Try it today. Draft a letter to a loved one and express to them how much they mean to you and why. This is a powerful exercise because it allows you to give positive energy away which in turn brings so much goodness back into your life and your spirit. Send your love to your mate, a grandparent, a parent, a sibling, a friend, or anyone else who has had a positive impact on your life today and you will both reap the blessings tomorrow.

None of this is magic. The definition of magic is “The power of apparently influencing the course of events by using mysterious or supernatural forces.” There is nothing “mysterious” about this.  However the rest of that definition applies, in case you had any doubt. You do have influence over your life. Reclaim that power and don’t allow anyone else or any set of circumstances to dictate who and what you are. The power belongs to you.

Always remember your word is your wand. Wield it with precision and create the life you envision for yourself.

Love,

 

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Another day and another year to evolve

In Lifestyle, Spirituality on January 1, 2012 at 6:11 pm

The first day of any new year seems so special, doesn’t it? We plan for it, take off from work in honor of it, and tend to create traditions to celebrate it. But I think there is something unique and even more special about today. Do you feel it? Something has shifted within my energy and I am so glad for that change. Now, more than ever before, I see all people – be they “friends” or “foes” – as teachers and all circumstances – be they “good” or “bad” -  as lessons. Every interaction is a chance to learn if we only “get out of our own heads” as a very wise woman and dear friend puts it.

Some say that whatever you do on New Year’s Day is what you will do for the rest of the year. I believe that is true, not because I’m superstitious but because I believe in Charles C. Noble’s observation: “First we make our habits and then our habits make us.” This morning, I made some healthful, traditional food (black-eyed peas and sauteed collards) and took Bella for a long walk. NoiPhone. No music. Just me and my girl enjoying the sound of leaves rustling on a sunny, brisk day. It was so peaceful and so perfect. I found my center, and focused on gratitude. I felt grateful for breath, mobility, a free spirit, family, friends, purpose, energy, and so much more.

As I reached the halfway point of my walk through my neighborhood, I noticed an older woman standing in the driveway of a home up ahead. She seemed to wait for something or someone as she stared into the garage. I then saw a man who I suspect was her husband. He brought a bike down the steep driveway, guiding it by the handle bars, and placed it next to her. It was a three-wheeled bicycle. I don’t know why, but there was something about it that was so endearing. The woman climbed on the bike, sat for a moment to get her bearings, I suppose, and pedaled on to the street, heading toward me as I walked in the opposite direction. The look on her face was pure joy. Her crinkly eyes sparkled in the January air and her wrinkled, speckled face and hands soaked up the sun. It seemed as though she had been waiting for a long time to get back on her bike. It was so obvious that she appreciated it. The man who brought the bike out of the garage to her stood in the driveway and stared at the woman as she rode off down the street and around the corner. I waved hello to him and saw that he, too, had a kind face with sparkling, crinkly eyes. It made my heart smile.

I don’t know that woman or that man and I don’t know their story. But I do know that what I witnessed this morning was a special human experience. They were both teachers and the lessons I received were: 1. It is never too early in the day (or the year) or too late in your life to appreciate the beauty of simple things. 2. Find joy in helping other people find their joy, even if you aren’t meant to tag along for that part of their journey.

This year and every year, I pray that you and I relish all that this life has to offer. Let us be observant and conscious of how we move in the world because we matter and we will leave a legacy, whether or not we try. We will all inspire something in someone today. Make it something positive. Why not make a habit of that, while we’re at it?

Happy New Year to you. Do and be well today and the rest of your days.

Love,

Image: Sura Nualpradid / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

 

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Pack well for life’s journey

In Lifestyle, Spirituality, Zaftig-Approved on September 14, 2011 at 3:13 pm

The one thing you can depend on is change. Whether it is for better or for worse, change is inevitable and we must prepare to face whatever may come our way. That is easier said than done, I know. I would never suggest dealing with the challenges of life is a breeze, but it is possible if you prepare for the journey. Think of it as an expedition. Take it head on and discover your life’s purpose along the way. Here are some things to take on your trek:

Nourishment

Do what you must to power and sustain yourself on your journey. Fill your satchel with nutrient-dense people and experiences and remove the junk from your stash. There will be no room for people, places and things that do little more than entertain and weigh you down. While junk can sometimes entice and provide a quick boost, it will never sustain you. Surround yourself with individuals who add to the richness of your life and who allow you to add to their lives. Fill up your time with spiritual activities that increase your emotional intelligence and nourish your soul. If you find that you’ve gorged a bit on junk, step back, breathe and reassess. Re-pack your satchel and begin again now.

Hydration

We all know how important water is for our bodies to function as they should. Dehydration quickly results in undesirable physical changes and, ultimately, death. But what about our emotional hydration? Examine your heart to see if it is plump with understanding and compassion or wrinkled and cracked, yearning for a swim in the waters of grace and forgiveness. Like all things that wax and wane, emotional hydration needs regular assessment. The tide will surely rise and fall. Work to keep your heart soft and full, able to absorb and release the joy and pain sure to come.

Shelter

You will have to stop along the way to rest and regroup, so pack a tent and a blanket. At times, you may feel disappointed at these rest stops. You might think, “I’m not where I wish I were and I’m just sitting here. I need to get moving…” Yes, you do and you will. But take time to rest and regain strength. Build a fire in your belly at each stop to spur you on to the next leg of your quest. Remember: This is about endurance, not speed.

Map

There is no unchartered territory and nothing new under the sun. Look to people you admire for encouragement, inspiration and direction as you walk, run and rest along the way. Be bold enough to take the road less traveled when you should, but don’t be so foolhardy that you reject words of wisdom and warnings.

Compass

This is not something you hold in your hand. It is something that dwells in your heart. Follow your intuition and trust your inner rudder. No matter which direction you go, you will have no regrets if you remain true to yourself.

Love,

Image: Evgeni Dinev / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

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Let observation be your motivation

In Lifestyle, Love/Relationships, Spirituality on August 3, 2011 at 1:38 pm

My cardio playlist was the only thing that kept my legs moving as I contemplated jumping off the treadmill just 20 minutes into my workout, a full 40 minutes less than I planned when I walked in the gym that day. My lungs protested and my thighs rebelled as I rationalized quitting. “I could do 10 more minutes, and then do 1.5 hours tomorrow…”

Just then, I looked two rows ahead of me, where the recumbent bikes were. Two women stared at one of the bikes. They appeared to be sizing it up, much like a hiker would before a daunting climb. They looked at each other, then back at the bike, spoke a few words, and took deep breaths in unison. The woman on the left stood, and the other was seated in a wheelchair. The woman who stood squatted a bit, reached around the other woman’s chest, wrapped her arms tight and clasped her hands, as she prepared to lift her companion from the wheelchair and onto the bike. The woman in the chair reached up and around her friend, fingers locked behind her neck. I could not hear their private exchange, but I could read the lips of the woman who was standing: “One… Two… Three…” My heart pumped harder and I felt my pulse in my jaw, not because of the intensity of the incline or speed, but out of concern for those women. I tried not to stare, but I was captivated, cheering silently as the woman with the disability worked to find a position on the bike seat that felt right, and as her companion placed her feet on the pedals, snug within the stirrups. In that moment, I forgot about the burn in my lungs and my legs and held my breath as I watched a brave woman try with all of her might to move the right pedal. I could see the focus and determination on her face as she called on neurons, muscles, and joints to cooperate. Beads of sweat glistened on her face and neck, wetting and catching her dark hair. Her legs jumped and twitched beyond her control, moving but not in the way she wanted them to. Not in the way required to turn on the console. Her face reddened, perhaps from emotion and frustation and certainly from exertion. She looked up at her companion and shrugged as a toothy grin spread over her face. “I tried,” her lips said as her eyes welled with tears. Once again, her friend reached down as she reached up, this time for a hug, not a lift.

I felt ashamed of myself and my own eyes filled with tears. There I was, able to move, walk, jog, run, bike, dance… and I was going to take the easy road instead. Just because it felt hard in that moment.

How often do we choose the path of least resistance and, as a result, pass up our purpose? Rather than focus on what is uncomfortable in your life, pay more attention to the blessings, gifts and opportunities to create good in your life and in the world. Be grateful for what you have and leave a lasting, positive impact on others in the process. The next time you want to quit something that is good for you and necessary for your journey, think of your blessings and, for perspective, of the people who would love to be where you are. Stay the course and relish the pleasure and the pain, for both are byproducts of growth and possibility.

Love,

 

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What my dog, Bella, has taught me

In Lifestyle, Love/Relationships, Spirituality on July 20, 2011 at 7:49 pm

My Bella has been with me through thick and thin (no pun intended) for the last four and a half years. She’s been my literal roll dog, hitting the highway with me across town and across the country. She has soothed me during heartache and heartbreak, twisted ankles, colds, unemployment and more. She is sitting right here at my feet as I type this, per usual. She is my baby.

Although she can’t speak, she has taught me plenty of lessons since she was a crazed puppy, all paws and legs with the most adorable wrinkled forehead. Here are a few of the things I’ve learned.

Sometimes it’s best to walk away when you make a stink.

Bella has a habit of letting a real serious one rip and then… she walks away. She usually gives me a look that says, “I wouldn’t keep sitting there if I were you!” And she’s right. It’s best to move away at that point.

Bottom line: Know when to walk (or even trot) away. There are some situations in life that get stinky, to say the least. It really doesn’t matter who stunk up the place. Just know when to make a graceful exit.

Never be afraid to ask for what you want, even after someone has told you “no.”

No matter how many times I tell Bella to beat it during dinner, she always manages to creep back around. She doesn’t whine, she doesn’t get too close, but she is nonetheless relentless. Her undying love for my cooking (who could blame her?) draws her in each time, and her big brown eyes and sweet spirit makes me break down every now and again.

Bottom line: In a world full of people who will love nothing more than to tell you “No,” you will still manage to find all the yeses you need. What matters is that you seek and recognize those green lights when you come across with them. I have met people and I have been the person who doesn’t feel like they deserve more than “no.” Like Bella, I know how to carry myself and how to respect others, but that doesn’t keep me from asking for the sun, the moon and the stars. Ask and ye shall receive. At least some of the time.

Run until you feel like throwing up. Cough. Breathe. Repeat.

Give Bella an open field and you will soon see little more than a black flash and a pink tongue racing around you. She’s a nutcase. But her zeal and passion for life is enviable. She runs until she is spent and coughing, all but throwing up. At that point she sprawls out (whether it’s in sand, mud, snow, grass or mulch) and takes a breather. With her ears flopping, tongue  lolling and chest heaving, she has what can only be described as a huge smile on her face. Once she regains her composure, she’s right back up and at ‘em.

Bottom line: Life is short. Why not go hard? I have found the power (and even the pleasure) of getting up before the sun does so I can walk, run, bike… something. It feels so good to move and I’m so blessed to do so. Why not revel in my blessing and run until I heave?

Follow your passion and find the sunny spots along the way.

I know where Bella is at any given moment of the day in my house. You can always find her in the sun. She’s like my own little furry sundial. In the morning, she’s lying in the dining room, working her way across the floor as the sunny spot moves. In the afternoon, she’s in the family room. Heading into the early evening, she’s in the breakfast nook to soak up the last few rays of the day.

Bottom line: Find what brings you joy and make it your business to seek it. Daily. Even if that means you have to up and move around a bit or change your plans.

Love,

(and Bella)

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Life (and cooking) is all about trial, error…

In Food, Recipes on March 11, 2011 at 2:34 am

It must be a great day if I break out the measuring cups...

My cookbook will be a beautiful combination of plant-based recipes, beautiful photography and useful information. But before I can present the finished product to you, I have to test recipes. Argh… I cook and I write, therefore I test. It’s lots of work, but it is a true labor of love. I relish the chance to blend familiar and unique flavor and texture combinations. My goal is always the same: to prepare food that makes the people eating it furrow their brows, nod and mumble. All at the same time. Raised or furrowed brows signal pleasure. The nods affirms that, yes, this is one of the best things ever. And the mumbling? Well, that just means the food is so good that Miss Manners’ advice is out the window. Cooking is fun, exciting, a bit unpredictable, and I’m great at it.

Baking, on the other hand, ranks right up there with physics for me. I get it, but I don’t get it all the time. Far more exacting and about l,000 times less forgiving than cooking, baking simply is not natural for me. I almost always forget something. Or I inadvertently grab the baking soda when I really want baking powder. Cooking is an art, but baking is a science. Although I am accomplished in some realms of science (shout out to cellular biology, anatomy and chemistry…), I am far more comfortable doing something artsy and free-flowing my way to deliciousness.

So on days when I decide to pull out my measuring cups, teaspoons and preheat the oven, I’m in pretty good darn mood. Today was one of those days. I went to bed last night with a recipe idea on my mind: Vegan Grapefruit Muffins. I turned over, nuzzled into my pillow and thought, “It just… might… work…”  before I drifted off to sleep.

I went to work on the idea today. I’ve had good luck with vegan baking in the past, so I was hopeful. I started by sectioning juicy, ruby red Texas grapefruit.

I put my dry mixture together, combining whole wheat pastry flour, unbleached all-purpose flour, oats, brown sugar, white sugar, baking soda, baking powder and cinnamon.

For the wet, I used vanilla extract, vanilla almond milk and melted soy-free Earth Balance.

With a gentle hand, I folded the wet ingredients into the dry mixture. I tasted the batter and it was divine. I had to exercise control just to keep from snacking on it. I was elated! My vision was coming together… I could almost see the perfect little muffins that were in my near future. I popped the muffin tin into the oven and waited.

This is what I got:

In a word? Awful! Hahahaha!

I did my best to salvage what I could. It ended up looking like an exotic, citrusy twist on bread pudding. It was ugly, but “belicious” (as my 2-year-old niece would say, meaning delicious) all the same.

Why am I sharing my failure with you? I wouldn’t want to take advice from someone who never made a mistake. So just as I share some of the fabulous recipes I create for my cookbook, I will also post about the occasional flop. Afterall, cooking (and baking) is just like life. There is no progress without some setbacks.

Here’s to licking the bowl any damn way, regardless of what life throws at you…

Love,

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Gratitude is the path to zen

In Lifestyle, Love/Relationships on March 9, 2011 at 4:19 pm

It is easy to exude positive energy and to seem balanced when times are good and all is well. But how do you deal with stress? Do you withdraw? Do you become angry and lash out at others? How you react to stress indicates what drives you. Consider a piece of fruit. If you juice it, you will only and always get the juice of that fruit. It doesn’t matter if you use a commercial juicer, a handheld juicer or a mortar and pestle. It is imperative that we pay careful attention to what is inside of us. This ensures that no matter what happens in our lives and no matter what comes or goes, we can remain steadfast in our positive energy and receive the blessings and lessons that fill our lives.

How do we achieve this? Two things in particular have been saving graces in my life: Meditation and gratitude. I consider them grounding elements and they have allowed me to be introspective, steadfast and compassionate.

I have been on a path to inner peace and enlightenment for as long as I can remember. I experienced many things in my childhood that muddied my mind, body and spirit and made it difficult for me to find balance in anything. A sensitive person by nature, my true self and spirit were tainted by events early in my life that left wounds that have only begun to heal in the past two years. Abandonment, sexual and physical abuse from relatives, and other painful events had misshapen the girl I was meant to be and that eventually deformed the woman I was. For many years I carried with me more than any child, teen or woman should have to bear. Like millions of other people who endure abuse as a child, I faced each day and formed every relationship with an undercurrent of fear. Fear of abandonment. Fear of being abused again, in one way or another. As a result, I subsisted on surface relationships and instincts that pushed me to lace-up my shoes and run at the first sign of discomfort. Although Nicci the Child had no recourse, no protection and could not fend for herself, Nicci the Adult was mad as hell and she was never going to allow anyone to get close enough to hurt her again. Sometimes I look at pictures of me between the ages of 5 and 30 and I hardly recognize that little girl… that teenager… that shell of a woman. Those are my dead years. Many survivors of abuse can identify such a period in their lives.

What I discovered is there is no life without risk of pain. In 2009, I faced a decision between life and death. I could continue to subsist and move through this world as someone who sees without seeing and breathes without living, or I could dig deep into myself, do the work required and be whole again.

I chose life.

I meditated, prayed and fasted for much of that year. Battling a physical health issue and incredible emotional stress, I took a leave of absence from work and never returned to that office. I ended my marriage to someone I thought I would be with for the rest of my days. I lost the home we bought together. I dropped about 15 pounds. I stopped going out and talked openly only to my sister and a few close friends. It was a physical, emotional and spiritual sloughing off of everything and it was the most painful year of my life. Beyond that, it was necessary, and through it all, I had gratitude for so many things.

I was grateful for the small savings I had that allowed me to buy fruits, vegetables, grains and good olive oil and salt.

I was grateful for the cool nights that summer which allowed me to save money on air conditioning.

I was grateful for the time when my friends came to my house, long after the cable was off, and just sat with me while we listened to music and I prepared a simple dinner.

I was grateful for the mother bird who built that nest right outside my front door that spring. The sound and sight of that process (from start to first flight) reminded me of the size and scale of life.

I was grateful for my amazing father who helped me financially and made sure I was able to pay off and insure my car when I was on the verge of losing that, too. I was grateful that he never once questioned me or made me feel bad about being in need and to this day has never uttered a word about it.

I was grateful for my sister and her husband who made me laugh when I didn’t remember how to smile.

I was grateful for my nephew who came into the world in August of that year. His first cry reminded me of how precious breath is, and with his warm little body in my arms and his head cradled against my neck, he felt like promise and possibility.

In 2009, I had the least I have ever had from a material perspective, but I was rich in all of the ways that mattered. I surrendered to the loss, the pain and the hurt and centered myself and truly focused on what it means to be what I was made to be. Today I no longer want for any material thing and that has nothing to do with my household income and everything to do with my heart and spirit being whole. I don’t necessarily believe you have to go through times of hardship in order to find your purpose and to settle into yourself, but such tests are inevitable and there will be more for me as there will be for you.

My prayer is that you will have a mind of meditation and heart of gratitude and be prepared for whatever comes or goes in your life… That, I believe, is the path to peace. That is the path to zen.

Love,

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My lifetime to-do list…

In Lifestyle, Zaftig-Approved on February 10, 2011 at 5:25 pm

It seems like just the other day I was prepping for Thanksgiving dinner (which I hosted – so much fun). Now it’s 2011. And February, at that…

Where does the time go?

I’ve never been one for resolutions, but I am all about introspection. I do my best to evolve and grow daily, not just every 365 days… When the mood strikes, I write a list of sort-of “to-do” list, sketching out improvements that I want to make for myself. I learned a long time ago that the only person I can control is me, so that is where I put my energy. I was going through an old box when I found one of these lifetime to-do lists. I wrote it in 2000. Interestingly enough, I’ve done most of it, but it still applies, if you understand what I mean. That makes me feel really good because I have no doubt that I know what is authentic for me and I am working toward living that, day in and day out. I had this list on my mirror for a few years and then replaced it with others. But there is something special about finding this piece of paper, soft and tattered around the edges, with faded words falling in the creases from years of shower steam and folding. I still remember when I typed it. I was an editorial clerk (the lowest girl on the totem pole back then) at a daily newspaper. I sat in that newsroom 40 hours a week, working from 4 p.m. to 1 a.m., and every single weekend and holiday. I knew there was more in store for me. And somehow, I knew I needed to make it plain and write it down so I could see it for myself. Here is what I typed up one night, all those years ago, and how I’ve been doing with the items on the list.

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During another day of this incredibly blessed life, don’t forget to…

Indulge and bask in self-love. (working on it, every day)

Make time to meditate each and every day. (check)

Take out time to pray each and every night. (check)

Don’t settle for anything less than what I know I deserve. (check)

Fill my temple with wholesome, nourishing fuel. (check)

Go to the gym. (check)

Volunteer with a program geared toward helping young women. (check)

Finish up bachelor degree. (check)

Prepare for entrance into a distinguished graduate school. (Looking at MBA and MBA/JD programs now.)

Prepare to travel to as many different countries and continents as possible.

Take an ethnic cooking class. (I never have, but I so want to.)

Take an African dance class. (Definitely still in the plans.)

Finish “Epiphany.” (That was the first book I wrote, which I promptly put away many years ago. I blame my lack of confidence.)

Go to the park at least twice a month.

Find and attend writers workshops. (I so need to do this.)

Begin to read my poems out. (Gosh… I haven’t written poetry in eons…)

Keep my car organized. (I definitely need to do this!)

Fast once a month. (As a matter of fact, I’m due for one now.)

Clear emotional, physical and spiritual clutter out of my life. (Yes! I can’t wait to have a garage sale in the spring)

Pay all my bills on time. (Yes indeed…)

Visit loved ones as often as possible. (Very necessary. Phone calls might have to do since I no longer live close to family or old friends.)

Tell those that I love “I love you” whenever I can. (This is definitely something I do.)

Don’t go to bed with a heavy heart. (I have learned to let lots go.)

Write in my journal every day. (I’m terrible at this. You see how I’ve let even my blogging go, but I vow to do better.)

Keep my apartment clean. (Wow… I literally had 400 square feet of living space when I wrote this. I’ve been blessed with lots more space to keep clean now, and it is still a top priority. I firmly believe that the Universe will not give you more until you take care of what you have. I treated those 400 square feet as if it were a palace because it was my blessing in that season…)

Keep track of all bank transactions. (Thanks for making it easy, Chase!)

Don’t waste precious time on negative people. (Wow! I should have put that on here a few times! Such a good lesson. How wise of 22-year-old me?! Ha!)

Start drawing again. (I really should. It would be a great creative outlet.)

Buy some canvas and do a self-portrait. (That would be fun. I’d forgotten how much I enjoy painting.)

Take vitamin supplements regularly. (Perhaps I would be anemic and deficient in vitamin D today if I’d listened to myself back then!)

Surround myself with strong and loving people. (I have definitely been doing that!)

Eat out less and cook much more. (check)

Be more assertive. (And I wrote that before I really knew the difference between aggressive, passive and assertive. This has much more meaning now!)

Ask the Creator for exactly what I want. (Yes!)

Expect the Creator to give me exactly what I need. (Yes! Yes!)

Be thankful for all of my blessings. (Things that I have and things that I don’t have.)

Be more considerate to those around me. (Absolutely. That is huge…)

Return all negative vibes with positive ones. (Whew! That’s easier now, but still tough. Very necessary though!)

Don’t necessarily do unto others as they’ve done to me. (Some people/things simply are not worth getting upset about.)

Hold my head up high.

Never forget Whose child I am.

Remember that happiness is fleeting, but joy is eternal… and that joy is a journey, not a destination. (Yes!)

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We are all works in progress and, from where I stand, that is a beautiful thing. Tell me what’s on your lifetime to-do list. I would love to know what inspires you and what steps you take to become the best version of yourself.

Be well…

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